you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
