Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
