my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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