she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
