also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Send help, water and tortillas.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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