i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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