there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
