Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
