I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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