idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
