I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
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I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
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Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
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