Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
i think im in europe. pls send help