i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.