So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.