my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies