There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?