How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
