Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
3 2 1 whiskey
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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