so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
