pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
