I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
