Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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