I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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