playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
operation have a gay friend backfired
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
