she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
