Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
