On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize