She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.