I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail