i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
