I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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