I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I love you. Go after that dick
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