I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
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We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You did what with his pubic hair?
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