feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It's shark week go big or go home
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
