4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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