i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
