i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize