I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I think I just sharted jello shots
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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