Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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