I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
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I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
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ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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