what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
