You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
