The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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