Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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