worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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