are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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