how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
