HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize