lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
