Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he thought i was a dude.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
