He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
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i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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