maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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