To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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