I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
