But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
