do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
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It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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