Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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