sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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