is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
