just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
